Today is very windy out here in the countryside of Irvine. We are getting wind gusts of 80-100 mph that are battering our compound as if we were a small tugboat being whipped over dark tides with foamy white hands repeatedly beating down on the vessel! We aren't going to get any yard time today unless the winds die down some.
I have so much time for reading here, that's the only good thing. But there aren't many books available unless someone sends them, and we can only get them if they are from a publisher or Amazon.com. I guess if they were sent from an individual they might try to slip drugs in somehow. I am reading Silence of the Lambs right now because someone left it behind, and the other alternative was a Hardy Boys mystery!
I have actually been fighting to stay asleep as long as possible as often possible. Anything, even the bad dreams that have been frequenting my slumber as of late, is better than experiencing this place in real time.
I don't know how many letters I have written, or to how many of my "friends" over the past month, but I have gotten so few responses that it is discouraging. I know it is not the most fun to manually write a letter instead of an e-mail, and I know most people don't have as much time on their hands as I do. But a month is a long time even if you are not in jail.
I guess some of my friends don't even know that I am in jail yet, which would explain a lot. I have been asking my family to call different people and they can't even reach them, or there is no answer. Very discouraging. The more I think about it, the more it coincides with no responses, and ultimately it just makes me even more depressed than just being in here already does. And it's obviously not bothering anyone else but me. The saddest part is that it doesn't really stop me from missing all of my friends even if they apparently don't miss me enough to write. Oh well. That's my life today. Too bad. Bye
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Waiting...........and more waiting........
I am growing into the surroundings of this place, and I am flatlined on my emotions and I am not doing too much to stop it at this point. My Dad came to visit me today. Which was nice. It gave me a small glimpse into the life that I left behind back at home that I may never fully return to.
What people don't understand is that an experience such as being locked up can go plenty of different ways. You can leave here missing a part of yourself that you liked if you're not careful, and taking with you part of this place instead. I don't know how much fight I really have in me to not let that happen. I feel deserted by most of the people and friends that I thought surely would be there for me. Except for my family.
I have been to jail before, but never for this long. It's going to be close to impossible to keep myself intact if this little vacation keeps going like this. There was a guy who slept in the top bunk next to me for only eight days, and he got a letter from a different one of his friends or family almost every day he was here. Whatever.
I have been writing some letters. Now I am hoping for some letters back. This is Jordan in jail, signing off. Waiting....................
What people don't understand is that an experience such as being locked up can go plenty of different ways. You can leave here missing a part of yourself that you liked if you're not careful, and taking with you part of this place instead. I don't know how much fight I really have in me to not let that happen. I feel deserted by most of the people and friends that I thought surely would be there for me. Except for my family.
I have been to jail before, but never for this long. It's going to be close to impossible to keep myself intact if this little vacation keeps going like this. There was a guy who slept in the top bunk next to me for only eight days, and he got a letter from a different one of his friends or family almost every day he was here. Whatever.
I have been writing some letters. Now I am hoping for some letters back. This is Jordan in jail, signing off. Waiting....................
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Early morning. Hungry.
I have pretty nice skin. It's fair and I don't get blemishes often and my wrinkles aren't horribly prominent at my age. I don't use any kind of skin care products (though I probably should now before I start looking too old) and I have used an electric razor for a number of years with satisfactory results. I try and eat fairly healthy. I don't drink soda or sugary drinks, and I don't eat candy or junk food except on rare occasions. And seldom do I drink coffee unless I feel it is absolutely necessary to make my morning.
As a result of these things I don't get a lot of pimples. But it seems like ever since I got here (to jail) and have started eating the food here I have been breaking out. Not like over the top breaking out to where I look like a BEFORE picture on a ProActiv commercial. But I definitely have more pimples on my face and neck than before.
I think it may have to do with the change in my diet. I hadn't eaten baloney in almost two years before I was taken into custody. Now I eat some form of D grade oily circular lunch meat every day. Some days twice!
But what will eventually happen is that my stomach gets used to all that crap and my skin will clear up and I'll just go on eating the food as usual.
I cannot wait to taste again a lot of foods that I used to eat regularly. One would be Chipotle, fo damn sho! Whe
n I am back I plan on the first day going with my little brother Jared to the 
Chipotle and grubbing down on one of those premature-baby-sized chicken burritos. I say umm umm...umm umm umm!!!Another stop will be a little corner restaurant by my house. It's located on the corner of Rose & Orangethorpe and it's called King's Teriyaki. They make a teriyaki chicken bowl that I don't even have to order anymore. I have so many times that they know what I want when I come in and even start making it when they see my car pull up sometimes. I miss them there and look forward to seeing them again as soon as I can.
But my biggest vice when it comes to food is Carl's Jr. by far. At least a couple times a week I am guilty of hitting the drive-thru for my usual. And I plan on first thing whe
n I am released hitting the closest Carl's 24 hour drive-thru and getting a Six Dollar Burger just plain with cheese (burger cheese & bun) and an ice cold milk to wash it down with. I could almost cry thinking about it. I don't know if I want to eat because I am bored or if I really am hungry.This place gets wacker and wacker as time goes by, and I sense that is not going to change.The chances of this tent turning around and becoming anything other than the total joke that it is currently are about as good as my chances of winning the lottery.......from jail! Don't for a second think it is the fault of Leon our Mouse because he does everything he can to keep things in order. Sometimes I view Leon as a lone fireman trying to put out a raging inferno. Or maybe a fireman trying to put out a building that has burned to the ground already!
Keep those cards and letters coming! I live for mail call. Peace out.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Moving up the Ranks
So I have been given a position here in Yellow Tent, probably because they don't know me very well yet and think I am the guy for the job. I have been appointed as "torpedo" for the Woods (white guys). I will now do my best to explain what I understand about politics and positions here in jail. Basically, there is a "House Mouse" who is responsible for the operations of the tent such as being in line for count on time, making sure the "cars" are getting along, keeping track of the proper supplies at all times, and pretty much being the the voice or messenger of the deputies to the house. Then each individual "car" or race group has a "Rep" and a "Right Hand".
The Rep is responsible for any major decisions involving the car, and for the creation or doing away with rules that may or may not benefit their race. They are also the final word on any disciplinary action that may need to be taken to insure the safety of the car or tent. The Right Hand is basically just that, the right hand man to the Rep when he needs support or another opinion. And then there is the "torpedo" which is the position I have been appointed to.
You see there are certain rules that apply to everyone in the tent and then each "car" has certain rules that apply to them. There are set penalties for breaking these rules that generally include extra duty such as cleaning or stocking. There are also physical penalties like push-ups and stuff.
The extreme penalty would be "taxation" or "being taxed". Most offenses result in being "broke off" which means extra duty or whatever. But being taxed means you are going to be beat up. For the Woods it means standing in the shower for 23 seconds while 2 or 3 other inmates take body shots on you. This punishment is reserved for major offenses and is in most cases avoided if at all possible. But what the torpedo does is keeps his eyes open for offenders and either "breaks them off" or tells the Rep or Right Hand so that a fitting punishment is determined. So now I am the torpedo for the white people.
If you know me, you know that I am a guy who usually gets along with everyone and I'm not too big on fighting unless absolutely necessary. So taking the torpedo position is kinda like buying "taxation insurance" for myself. I don't like the politics here and would not participate at all if I was going to be here a short while. But I am going to be here for a third of a year, and if that means I have to break off some extra duty for a few jerks to make sure that nobody messes with me, then so be it.
I know who I am when I am not here, and I have every intention of leaving the guy who they asked to be torpedo here when I get out. It is always possible I might get transferred to a new barracks or compound, or even work my way up to a better position. Apparently I am in the running to be House Mouse in a month when the current guy leaves. I don't know if I want the job. Stay tuned, I'll keep you posted.
The Rep is responsible for any major decisions involving the car, and for the creation or doing away with rules that may or may not benefit their race. They are also the final word on any disciplinary action that may need to be taken to insure the safety of the car or tent. The Right Hand is basically just that, the right hand man to the Rep when he needs support or another opinion. And then there is the "torpedo" which is the position I have been appointed to.
You see there are certain rules that apply to everyone in the tent and then each "car" has certain rules that apply to them. There are set penalties for breaking these rules that generally include extra duty such as cleaning or stocking. There are also physical penalties like push-ups and stuff.
The extreme penalty would be "taxation" or "being taxed". Most offenses result in being "broke off" which means extra duty or whatever. But being taxed means you are going to be beat up. For the Woods it means standing in the shower for 23 seconds while 2 or 3 other inmates take body shots on you. This punishment is reserved for major offenses and is in most cases avoided if at all possible. But what the torpedo does is keeps his eyes open for offenders and either "breaks them off" or tells the Rep or Right Hand so that a fitting punishment is determined. So now I am the torpedo for the white people.
If you know me, you know that I am a guy who usually gets along with everyone and I'm not too big on fighting unless absolutely necessary. So taking the torpedo position is kinda like buying "taxation insurance" for myself. I don't like the politics here and would not participate at all if I was going to be here a short while. But I am going to be here for a third of a year, and if that means I have to break off some extra duty for a few jerks to make sure that nobody messes with me, then so be it.
I know who I am when I am not here, and I have every intention of leaving the guy who they asked to be torpedo here when I get out. It is always possible I might get transferred to a new barracks or compound, or even work my way up to a better position. Apparently I am in the running to be House Mouse in a month when the current guy leaves. I don't know if I want the job. Stay tuned, I'll keep you posted.
Monday, October 13, 2008
I'm Hungry!
Well, today is another day here in the yellow tent, in jail. Things haven't been horrible, and they haven't been cool by any means, but like anyone who knows me knows that I like to say, "It could always be worse."
This barracks is constantly changing in one way or another. Somebody is leaving or being moved, and somebody else is being rolled in from another barracks to do their last eight or nine days here and cause problems until they leave. This tent has been a revolving door with only one constant. Whoever is on new arrival status is here because they are a screw-up from another tent that has been sent here for punishment. So basically I live in the punishment tent. The thing I am trying to figure out is how I was put here right off the bat? How come I wasn't given a chance to rock n' roll somewhere else first? Being in jail is punishment of course, but being in the yellow tent is a double dose of it.
I'm so hungry right now! I'm dreaming of what I will eat the minute I get out. I could almost cry thinking about it. I have purchased that exact meal so many times that I know it will cost $5.37 exactly. The Six Dollar Burger from Carl's Jr. and an ice cold milk to wash it down. And with six packets of ketchup I am in heaven, and I will know that I am home. Only three and a half months before the grubfest goes down!! Man, if I am thinking this hard about it only a few weeks in I am not going to make it on these baloney sandwiches they give us. Now I am starting to regret having written this entry at all because that's all I can think about. FOOD. Real Food.
Anyway, I better change the subject. The job they gave me really sucks because it is from midnight to 8:30 in the morning! It's working in the kitchen which isn't that bad, but in the middle of the night is the worst. I am hoping for a new job with normal hours so I can get some sleep! At least I have the next couple of days off from midnight kitchen duty. Come visit me on the weekend, or write me. More updates soon. I'm hungry. Peace out. Look for the "Free Jordan" stickers going up in your city soon!
This barracks is constantly changing in one way or another. Somebody is leaving or being moved, and somebody else is being rolled in from another barracks to do their last eight or nine days here and cause problems until they leave. This tent has been a revolving door with only one constant. Whoever is on new arrival status is here because they are a screw-up from another tent that has been sent here for punishment. So basically I live in the punishment tent. The thing I am trying to figure out is how I was put here right off the bat? How come I wasn't given a chance to rock n' roll somewhere else first? Being in jail is punishment of course, but being in the yellow tent is a double dose of it.
I'm so hungry right now! I'm dreaming of what I will eat the minute I get out. I could almost cry thinking about it. I have purchased that exact meal so many times that I know it will cost $5.37 exactly. The Six Dollar Burger from Carl's Jr. and an ice cold milk to wash it down. And with six packets of ketchup I am in heaven, and I will know that I am home. Only three and a half months before the grubfest goes down!! Man, if I am thinking this hard about it only a few weeks in I am not going to make it on these baloney sandwiches they give us. Now I am starting to regret having written this entry at all because that's all I can think about. FOOD. Real Food.
Anyway, I better change the subject. The job they gave me really sucks because it is from midnight to 8:30 in the morning! It's working in the kitchen which isn't that bad, but in the middle of the night is the worst. I am hoping for a new job with normal hours so I can get some sleep! At least I have the next couple of days off from midnight kitchen duty. Come visit me on the weekend, or write me. More updates soon. I'm hungry. Peace out. Look for the "Free Jordan" stickers going up in your city soon!
Thursday, October 9, 2008
The Nitty Gritty
It's probably a little after midnight now and I can't sleep. You see, there are no clocks in jail, so I had no idea we were about to do "last count " to go to bed. I had a cup of coffee which is unusual for me, and coffee in jail is like Meth. So yeah, I will probably finish the book I started last night, after I write a little bit more.
I promised to get into a little history of what led to me being in jail again. This is my third time, and sadly each visit has been for the same reason. Drugs. I have a serious drug and alcohol problem. I used to not think so, but I do. I used to quote Keith Richards in saying "I don't have a drug problem, I have a police problem." But the truth is I have both.
My substance abuse problem became a legal matter on Christmas Eve 2005. I had been working as a security guard at a luxury apartment complex where I was making money hand over fist selling and using marijuana and cocaine. Not to get into too many details, let me just say A LOT.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Anyway, to keep it brief, I ended up getting arrested on Christmas eve for felony possession of controlled substance with intent to sell. I was in deep s#@t! Wait, I should say deep crap because my mom does read this, whatever, too late.
Anyway, by the grace of God I was released on Christmas day in the afternoon, and came home to find only my presents left under the tree.
I fought long and hard in court for over a year and finally got my sentence down to 90 days in jail and 3 years probation. Which seemed crazy at the time but was actually a pretty sweet deal for what I had done. I even applied for house arrest! Oh, let me backtrack a bit. I had stopped dealing drugs and was working full time but was still using drugs like crazy. I met for the first time with the woman who would change my life forever and who I would come to fear and respect. My probation officer, who shall remain nameless because she still pretty much owns me! Being the heavy drug user I was at the time, I of course tested positive for an array of narcotics upon our first meeting. So upon our second meeting, she informed me I would not be getting house arrest, I would not pass GO or collect $200, I would go straight to jail. And I did.
There I was, a 21-year-old white kid raised in the church by two loving Christian parents, now a convicted felon/drug dealer and registered drug offender.To speed things up a bit, I spent just two weeks in jail and was released on County Work Program. Messed that up after a month by continuing to use drugs and got sent back to jail for a few more weeks. That is when I decided to get serious about my life (kinda) and go to NA meetings, and stay clean. And I did. Which is when things started to get interesting. But that is another story for another time. Stay tuned. I am in jail now with nothing but time on my hands, so I will continue the story later. Right now I have to go use the restroom in front of a bunch of dudes and then try and get some sleep. New entry coming soon. This is Jordan in jail, signing off.
I promised to get into a little history of what led to me being in jail again. This is my third time, and sadly each visit has been for the same reason. Drugs. I have a serious drug and alcohol problem. I used to not think so, but I do. I used to quote Keith Richards in saying "I don't have a drug problem, I have a police problem." But the truth is I have both.
My substance abuse problem became a legal matter on Christmas Eve 2005. I had been working as a security guard at a luxury apartment complex where I was making money hand over fist selling and using marijuana and cocaine. Not to get into too many details, let me just say A LOT.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Anyway, to keep it brief, I ended up getting arrested on Christmas eve for felony possession of controlled substance with intent to sell. I was in deep s#@t! Wait, I should say deep crap because my mom does read this, whatever, too late.
Anyway, by the grace of God I was released on Christmas day in the afternoon, and came home to find only my presents left under the tree.
I fought long and hard in court for over a year and finally got my sentence down to 90 days in jail and 3 years probation. Which seemed crazy at the time but was actually a pretty sweet deal for what I had done. I even applied for house arrest! Oh, let me backtrack a bit. I had stopped dealing drugs and was working full time but was still using drugs like crazy. I met for the first time with the woman who would change my life forever and who I would come to fear and respect. My probation officer, who shall remain nameless because she still pretty much owns me! Being the heavy drug user I was at the time, I of course tested positive for an array of narcotics upon our first meeting. So upon our second meeting, she informed me I would not be getting house arrest, I would not pass GO or collect $200, I would go straight to jail. And I did.
There I was, a 21-year-old white kid raised in the church by two loving Christian parents, now a convicted felon/drug dealer and registered drug offender.To speed things up a bit, I spent just two weeks in jail and was released on County Work Program. Messed that up after a month by continuing to use drugs and got sent back to jail for a few more weeks. That is when I decided to get serious about my life (kinda) and go to NA meetings, and stay clean. And I did. Which is when things started to get interesting. But that is another story for another time. Stay tuned. I am in jail now with nothing but time on my hands, so I will continue the story later. Right now I have to go use the restroom in front of a bunch of dudes and then try and get some sleep. New entry coming soon. This is Jordan in jail, signing off.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
So, Hey Everyone!
It's me Jordan. Some of you may know me already, and some of you may be "meeting me" for the first time online. I will give you a brief history to begin with. I am not in too much of a writing mood right now but I promise to go deeper into my past later on because it really is kinda interesting. But to sum it up, I am a 24-year-old white male. I am a singer/actor/comedian/son/brother/friend.
I have done quite a lot in my 24 years and not all of it good. Some activities I enjoy can land you in jail, which in fact is where I am currently.
I am a temporary resident of James A. Musick Correctional Facility in Irvine, California. This will be my home, office, and work for about the next six months or so. Four months maybe, with good behavior. I had the idea to start a blog a while back, and now that I have been in custody for about a week, I have a lot to write about. I will be sending my blog entries to family and friends that will help me with this project. Cool, huh?
Why would I do this you might ask? Well, I have a lot to say for one, and for two I have A LOT of free time as I'm sure you can imagine. This gives me something to do to stay connected to the outside world, as well as raise awareness. There are a lot of things about the jail experience that most people don't know or understand. Along with all of the ugliness and hurt that scars people here there can actually be some moments of beauty and hope. Not many. But yeah.
So, I hope somebody gets something out of this. I promise to be honest, and to expose the ugly truths of the Orange County Correctional system to the best of my ability. The deputies don't read every letter that goes out, but they do read some of them. Anyway, I promise that if you stay tuned over the next few months I will tell you in great detail about the wild events that took place leading up to my arrest and incarceration, and everything that has happened since I re-entered this alternate universe known as "jail" to you people on the outside.
To any of my friends reading, know that I love you and wouldn't mind a visit!
This is Jordan from "The Farm" signing out for now. Letters are welcome!
My address for the duration:
James Musick Correctional Facility
Jordan Henderson booking #2474867
13502 Musick
Irvine, CA 92618-1630
I have done quite a lot in my 24 years and not all of it good. Some activities I enjoy can land you in jail, which in fact is where I am currently.
I am a temporary resident of James A. Musick Correctional Facility in Irvine, California. This will be my home, office, and work for about the next six months or so. Four months maybe, with good behavior. I had the idea to start a blog a while back, and now that I have been in custody for about a week, I have a lot to write about. I will be sending my blog entries to family and friends that will help me with this project. Cool, huh?
Why would I do this you might ask? Well, I have a lot to say for one, and for two I have A LOT of free time as I'm sure you can imagine. This gives me something to do to stay connected to the outside world, as well as raise awareness. There are a lot of things about the jail experience that most people don't know or understand. Along with all of the ugliness and hurt that scars people here there can actually be some moments of beauty and hope. Not many. But yeah.
So, I hope somebody gets something out of this. I promise to be honest, and to expose the ugly truths of the Orange County Correctional system to the best of my ability. The deputies don't read every letter that goes out, but they do read some of them. Anyway, I promise that if you stay tuned over the next few months I will tell you in great detail about the wild events that took place leading up to my arrest and incarceration, and everything that has happened since I re-entered this alternate universe known as "jail" to you people on the outside.
To any of my friends reading, know that I love you and wouldn't mind a visit!
This is Jordan from "The Farm" signing out for now. Letters are welcome!
My address for the duration:
James Musick Correctional Facility
Jordan Henderson booking #2474867
13502 Musick
Irvine, CA 92618-1630
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