Patient:Doc,it hurts when I do this... Doc:Then don't do that idiot!!!

Have you ever known people that love each other more than anything but can just be the worst possible thing for each other in certain situations? And those situations more often than not involve alcohol? Like brothers who are all each other have as far as family,but once they start drinking they just become so volatile towards each other that others have to step in to save them from each other? Or a couple that will spend the whole night loving and caring for each other until the end of the night once they are both drunk, when the evening will inevitably end in a fight and one of them walking away hurt and angry? I have had the dis pleasure of seeing these scenarios play out a few different times since thursday. And it has not only made me so sad about the state of society and the hopelessness of the flawed human condition,but it has also made me so thankful to God for the seemingly healthy condition of my relationships and the fact that I no longer drink. I was never someone who every time I drank I would get in a fight or say things I did not mean to people I care about. But I am sure there are times I did. I was more of the guy that would drink and be wild and loud and funny and do stupid and crazy things that would become stories later that I would not remember at all.

But it was thursday night that a few friends of mine went bowling at my old work. It was a good time and I even won one game. I am not very good at bowling at all,but I am still very competitive. So when we were done we went to go meet some of my old co-workers and my old boss at The District Lounge at the Orange Circle. Now my good friend Ryan is pretty much the un-official mayor of the Orange Circle and The Artist Village in Santa Ana. When I say that everyone knows him, I mean everyone. I have places that I ma known,but the Orange Circle is not one of them. So the next best thing is being with some one who is. So we get there and it is so crowded we can barely move on the dance floor. So what does Ryan do? He gets us up on the stage with the DJ who is our friend and we just dance up there with the whole crowd cheering. For those of you who have spent some time with me know that I am someone who could be considered "a dancer" I suppose. I love to. And in front of a strange crowd of people is where I feel the most at home in whatever I do. This was no different. We had a blast. I have a video on my phone of my old boss,quite impaired,dancing on stage giving high fives and thumbs up to people. Now if you knew him,you would know this is un-characteristic. So the video I have is priceless.

It was time to leave and as we are walking out to the car we see a crowd forming around what appeared to be a fight outside the front doors of another bar in the Orange Circle called Paul's. Being the curious fella that I am, I of course walk in a little closer to see what all the commotion was about. Only to find that the altercation was between the staff of Paul's,which consisted of quite a few very big and angry looking bouncers, and some of my dear friends who I have known over ten years and would do anything for. Now I am definitely guilty of not fully assessing situations before I go head first into them when people I care about are involved. I am crazy,like really crazy but very smart and responsible and have a good head on my shoulders for the most part, except when my family or people I love are involved. So I without thinking run through the crowd of looky-loo's and push the bouncers away from my friends and start yelling"Hey hey hey hey hey!!! It's all good I have these guys ok? They are with me I am getting them outta here right now" and then I proceed to grab both of my friends by their shirts and start pulling them towards where we were parked.

Now let me give you just a brief back story on my two friends who we will call Tim and Ken. They are brothers. Both in their late twenties. Both had very poor upbringings that hardened them both in certain areas and left them both with pretty big chips on their shoulders that cannot be quieted when they are drinking. All of their parents and family are dead and they are all each other have. They would do anything for me and I would do just about anything for them too. But they are both very bad alcoholics who more often than not get into alot of trouble,especially when they go out together. Now back to the story. I pull Ken and Tim around the corner before they even realize that somebody they know is saving them. They realize its me and the drunken hugs and "I LOVE YOU!"'S commence and then they realize in their broken drunk reasoning what was happening. They were disrespected by the bar and they were made to walk away instead of fight. Now the rest of this whole debaucle is a little fuzzy simply because it all happened so fast and there was alot of adrenaline all over the place but it went something like this. Ken still wanted to fight.Tim tried to stop him. Tim and Ken then start fighting in the streets I try to pull Tim off of Ken and get an accidental elbow to the head. Out of reflex and I am sure partially out of anger I punch Tim in the face. The same bouncers from Paul's who these started problems with initially see the melee and come running over to break the two brothers up. Ken is cornered up against a building by bouncers and some girl he apparently met in the bar earlier that night who came out of nowhere and who was trying to talk some sense into him(which if she knew him like I do she would know that this is impossible in the state he was in).Tim meanwhile is in a choke hold on the ground by another bouncer telling him that if he does not leave now they are going to severely beat him up and then have him arrested. I get Tim in the car and then go to get Ken. I come up to Ken who is still surrounded by bouncers just waiting for him to do something while this random chick is still trying to talk to him. I come and say "Come on man I have your brother in the car we have to get out of here or all these guys are going to put your face in the dirt man,LET'S GO!" Random bar girl tries to tell me to leave him alone and that she has it under control and to not talk to her. I tell random bar girl "Look honey,I am some of the only family these guys have and I have never seen you before in my life. I am going to take my friend home right now. They have been fighting in the street and I just got out of jail and om on probation. Now I am don't to be rude, but I need to you to get out of the way NOW so I can get my friend out of here".


After I get Ken and Tim and my other two friends I was with into my friends car that I was driving we leave the scene. All the while Ken and Tim have not made peace with the fact that they were not going to be fighting a entire crowd of bouncers. And once again they turn on each other but while I am trying to drive. My friends subdue Tim but it really seems like no use. Tim gets Ken in a headlock and is pulling him into the back seat while Ken's feet are kicking me while I am driving. I pull over into a nearby neighborhood and Kevin gets out of the car and starts walking off somewhere. I realize that it's useless to try and get them back to their apartment in the same car so I just leave Ken there and take Tim back to there apartment and leave him and my friends there so I can drive back and find Ken. I drive back to finally find him about a mile down the road from where we left him walking back towards the Orange Circle where he was going to go back to and fight all the bouncers that kicked him back he explained to me. I fianlly get him in the car and get him home. Get my friends and get home myself.

The next day I got a call from both brothers apologizing for their parts in the whole thing although neither one could really remember what exactly their parts in the whole thing were. They also thanked me and said that they both realized that I really did come out of nowhere and basically save their lives. They thanked me for being their guardian angel and said that they hate to even think what would have happened had I not come out of nowhere like I did. I bask in their praise and tell myself that I am not only a great guy and a great friend who puts up with way more then I should and that my friends are lucky to know me but that I could single-handedly attribute any change in their personal lives for the to my selfless act. Now I cannot honestly believe how many times I have done this similar thing for these two guys, and I am almost certain that I will do it again. I am not sure why, the loyalty is something we will have to get into another time. But this weekend on friday night I went to a party for a girl I do not know well at all. She is kinda hot I guess,she is pretty nerdy and knows it and has no qualms about it. All of her friends were pretty much on the extremely nerdy side of the street but were all very nice and good company. I was excluded from certain conversations seeing as how I don't play World of WarCraft or Dungeons and Dragons. But otherwise it was a fun night.


I bring this up because the only guy I knew who was there aside from my friend Nate who I brought with me was a guy by the name of Travis who I really like and who I have known for probably over a year. I met him at the James A. Musick Facility a few years back when I did a month there and ever since then have kept in touch with him not only because he is like me a musician,but because he is like me, a good guy who doesn't want to do drugs. He is just a good guy and we stay in the same general area. But anyway,he and his girlfriend of a year or so,whose name escapes me now,apparently have a tradition according to the other guests at the party. Sober,they love each other madly and are such a great couple who often talk about their future lives together. But every special event that they are invited to and both attend,they both get drunk and then start a huge dramatic fight over something small and petty that almost always results in the leaving of other guests or one of them running away crying and driving drunk or whatever. This night, he ended the hour long screaming fight by telling her that she is "a drunk bitch" causing her to run out of the house. He explained that yes,it happened everytime they drank together. That he loves her so they tried to switch off drinking at events so only one would get drunk. It still resulted in a fight. They tried only drinking beer and no hard alcohol. It still resulted in a fight. I could see that my friend really does love this girl,but it is stressing him out. The fighting over nothing like a high school relationship is killing him. He told me that they have broken up and gotten back together a bunch of times and nothing seems to help. I personally know how he feels having myself survived a horrible relationship before meeting the person I would know to be the example of what relationships are about. I told my friend that unless both of them were able to stop drinking and have their relationship be stable,it wasn't worth his trouble to keep trying to work it out only to destroy any progress the next time they drink.


I still just have a hard time,especially now understanding how people can try and change everything about a problem except the actual problem. My friends Ken and Tim are baffled as to why every time they go out and get completely trashed together they end up getting into trouble? And why every time just the two of them stay at home and drink together they end up turning on each other? Why does it keep happening? How come we can get along just fine when we don't drink? And Travis and his girlfriend are so in love,why does every night that they drink together result in a party clearing fight and a break-up? Why can't they just get along drunk like they do when their sober? PEOPLE, ARE WE ALL REALLY THIS STUPID?!?!? I wish I could do something more than just make sense and live as an example,because that doesn't seem to work. And yes, I do understand that I went back for a little bit,but it only made it that much clearer to me that for people like me there really is no other way to live. Since I have been back and have not been drinking and using drugs for these past five months, I have not once had to try and remember where the bruise on my head came from. I have not once woke up next to someone I did not know or recognize. I have not once had to worry about getting pulled over under the influence. I have not once had to here a story about something I did the night the before that I did not remember. I have not once had to call and apologize to a girl or a friend for saying something I did not mean. I understand that is not always as easy as I try to make it sound,stopping is hard. BUT it's worth it. I don't know, I have written enough tonight. If you have drama in your life that seems to surround you when your drinking,stop drinking.