The List

I have decided on a few things since I have been in jail, especially since I have arrived to the Central Men's Jail in Santa Ana for my last month. I want to write some of these things so that I might have them to call upon later. Also I've listed them for those who may wish to help me (to any degree possible) accomplish some of these goals within the first few months following my release.

Some are things I will be doing during my last month here in custody. And some are things I would like to accomplish shortly after my release. Some are things I must accomplish in the long range after my release.

I understand the danger in creating such a list, that it could someday result in a "list of things I failed to accomplish." Though I am fairly confident in my own abilities and on the kindness and encouragement of others, I also have the utmost faith in my God's grace in blessing. So I am almost certain that between those variables, the things that are supposed to happen, will. And with that we begin our list.

1. For my last month in custody I am not going to shave, and will sport a beard with short hair upon my release. Here at Main jail they do not require me to shave daily as they did at Musick, so I might as well right?
2. For my last month I am going to eat as little bread as possible. And I'll do my best to cut back on potatoes, rice, and other carb heavy food to try and lose some excess fat that I will undoubtedly gain in this "cell of inactivity."
3. I will for my last month work out at least two times a week. I will do every exercise that can be done alone in the space I am given until my release.
4. I am going to attend an NA meeting my first night of release and make it a point to attend no less than two per week thereafter.
5. I should, following my release, be pleased to rent a movie version of any of the books I have read (Of Mice and Men, Lord of the Flies, Silence of the Lambs, The Count of Monte Cristo) and enjoy the act of relaxing and watching them all with family or friends.
6. I should, following my release, like to attend a theme park, i.e. Knott's Berry Farm, Disneyland, Six Flags, etc.
7. At least explore (if not fully investigate) the possibilities and options surrounding my relocation to a different city (Hollywood, West Los Angeles area) and/or possibly a different state (Oregon, New York) with the intent of gaining a different perspective on life and finding new inspiration for writing.
8. No matter how many dead calories I may take on as a result, and no matter how sick I may feel upon its completion, I desire to order a Cold Stone Creamery cone filled with all assortments of sweets and goodies and wholeheartedly attempt to consume it in its entirety.
9. I would like to in the months following my release to either win, happen upon, or anonymously be given a fair amount of money to assist me in my plans that have henceforth been mentioned. Now I fully understand the chances of this occurrence taking place in any fashion to be slim, or nonexistent. But one must at all times keep one's head up and trust that should it be the Lord's will to receive such a blessing, then it shall be so.
10. I should like very much, upon my release to enjoy the pleasant and dignified company of a young lady to accompany me to dinner, a movie, and possibly dancing or a quaint walk/stroll through a park. I would prefer her to be able to hold a reasonably intelligent conversation (although the inability is not absolutely a deal breaker) be nice, and pretty, and kind hearted enough to spend time with a man who has not been in the company of a lady for four months and may come off as a blundering fool. I am not alluding to any desire to seek romance or any such fancy, but just simply to enjoy the honest and innocent company of a girl.
11. I should very much like to spend some time with my father's mother and my mother's parents in the cities they live in the first few weeks following my release. I have missed them all dearly and am anxious to see them and catch up on recent events with them. I should also very much like to spend some time with other relatives on my father's side that live in adjoining states. Most likely I will have to wait until they are out this way for I fear I still have restrictions on my travel by probation. But if at all possible, I would very much like to see them as well.
12. I would like to continue writing as much as I can. And branch out into new, different avenues of expression: books, screenplays, cartoons, etc. I would also like to challenge myself to explore the arts of painting, sculpture, and most of all, music. I would like to further my education in hopes of becoming even more well-rounded, multi-faceted, and interesting.
13. I would like to get a dog. A medium-sized one that is good natured and does not leave a lot of hair about. And if not a dog, a rabbit or bunny.
14. I have a burning desire, in the months and years and decades following my release, to dance. To dance as much and as often to as many different types of music as possible, in as many different places as possible, in front of and with as many different people as possible. I want to slow dance, dance slow, dance till I perspire, dance until I'm dizzy. I believe my specialty is to dance in a silly manner, which I will be doing a whole lot of. Pretty much, I just wanna...I just wanna dance!
15. One thing that I pray and desire for myself in the life that I will lead once I am released from this jail very soon, is that God may give me humility and patience, and drive, and that he should see fit to have my faith in him grow more and more each day. That God would bless me with wisdom through my harrowing experiences, and that I might be able to grow in and develop these gifts to better help me build the life I desire and that God desires for me. That God would plant in me the strength and patience to endure suffering I may meet in the unconventional life I will lead. That God would give me the wisdom to deal with finding commercial success and fame as part of his will. And humility and patience if it does not occur on the timeline I would like. When I am released, I would like to for the rest of my life, pray unto my God, and cry out to him for his guidance, and receive his will and blessing for me.

Now while I listed 15 different desires, understand that I have been locked away for quite some time now, and there are many, many more than just these. These are simply the ones I thought to list. I understand some are very doable, almost to a degree of silliness. They are still very dear to me as far as my devotion to their completion and I take them just as seriously as any other desire I have expressed. As to the more difficult wants and desires, I have nothing but faith that through hard work, devotion, and faith these great feats will be just as much attainable goals as watching movies or eating Cold Stone.

My reasoning for listing and sharing these with you all, as I have stated, is so that you all my feel free to offer help to me in these matters in whatever manner you see fit, even if it's nothing more than praying for me or giving me a "thumb's up" from time to time.

So thank you all for reading this, and for all your love and support that I pray will continue even after I am released. Thank you all and good-bye.