Pros and Cons of Central Jail Complex

Written December 29, 2008

In my valiant effort to remain positive in my situation I have decided to do whatever I can to find something good about the chain of events that has led me to come to the Central Jail Complex. The closest I could get was a kinda "pros and cons" comparison. This was difficult enough because, really, there is no winning. I am in jail no matter what.

1. UPSIDE
   I now have county issue slip-ons that are much more comfortable than the work boots I wore for months at the farm.
   
   DOWNSIDE
   I do very little actual walking here that would necessitate comfortable shoes.
   
   
2. UPSIDE
   The uniforms here have pockets unlike the county issue uniforms at the farm.
   
   DOWNSIDE
   I am in my cell 22 hours a day and have no need for pockets here.
   
   
3. UPSIDE
   I am guaranteed a shower every day by myself here at Main.
   
   DOWNSIDE
   I get lonely in the shower now after getting use to having someone to talk to while bathing.
   
   
4. UPSIDE
   Because of how few people I actually talk to here, there is virtually no politics.
   
   DOWNSIDE
   Because of how few people I actually talk to here, I go bat shit crazy a few times a day.
   
   
5. UPSIDE
   I don't have to wait in a long line out in the cold to go to chow every day; here at Main the food is brought to my cell.
   
   DOWNSIDE
   Every dish is heavily laden with onions and I have to eat sitting across from Rico, every meal.
   
   
6. UPSIDE
   It's a lot more quiet here.
   
   DOWNSIDE
   Any sound that I don't make is coming from Rico. Bad noises.
   
   
7. UPSIDE
   It is unbearably cold at the farm right now; here I am inside away from the elements.
   
   DOWNSIDE
   No sunlight or fresh air except at certain times; that "certain time" is no more than twice a week and for no more than an hour. Oh, and Rico.
   
   
8. UPSIDE
   I don't actually ever see any deputies face to face here like at the farm.
   
   DOWNSIDE
   But that's only because they have speaker systems they talk to within each cell, and I'm in my freakin' cell for 22 hours out of the day!!! What do they need to see me for?! I'm not going anywhere! Rico and I are going to be right there, ALL DAY!!!
   
   
9. UPSIDE
   At the farm they had five different counts you had to be ready for throughout the day; at Main we have two.
   
   DOWNSIDE
   I ONLY HAVE TWO COUNTS BECAUSE I'M IN MY CELL FOR 22 HOURS OUT THE DAY!!! THEY COULD GET AWAY WITH NO COUNTS! WHERE ARE WE GOING TO GO?!?!
   
   
10. UPSIDE
    I get a lot more time to read and write and pray and sleep here then I did at the farm. I get a lot more alone time.
    
    DOWNSIDE
    There really isn't a whole lot else to do here except read, write, pray, sleep, work out every other day or so, and eat. Alone time is good, when it's on your own terms. Too much alone time is bad for me. For those of you who really know me, you know I'm crazy. I am nuttier than squirrel crap. And being at the farm, did not help. Being here...with Rico...22 hours a day...has really not helped. If you know me you know that I am usually in the center of what's going on. I NEED a crowd. There is no crowd here. Rico is not quick-witted. He's not even half-witted. I need to be able to entertain, and Rico can laugh for a good five minutes at a picture of a cat wearing a birthday hat.
    
    (I am not making that up either, he actually tore the picture out of a Reader's Digest and asked if we could put it up.)
    
    Rico and I aren't really on the same level when it comes to him being an audience.
    
    If I had no arms or legs but could still talk I wouldn't bee too bummed because what I live for more than anything else but God is to make people laugh.
    
    Well okay, I would be bummed if I had no arms and legs, but...well yeah, that would just suck. Bad example. But I love making people laugh. And here I get two hours a day outside of my cell around other people during dayroom, and none of them know me well enough yet to get my sense of humor. Seeing as how I only get to spend two hours a day with them I don't think they will get it while I'm here because they aren't around me enough.

Everybody, I am really doing all I can to stay positive, sane, and thankful. But this environment I have been put in is really kicking my ass on that front. I am just being honest that I am getting so frustrated here that I want to scream or punch something or just cry. But I can't.

I just want to come home already. These next three weeks will go by in the blink of an eye for you all, but I am going to feel and experience every single waking hour of this. Just pray for me. I am supposed to go through this, just the way I am. Just pray.